The Magic of the Clitoris (from a purity culture survivor)

I was 16 years old and spending a Friday night in the suburbs the only way I knew how: at the Willow Grove Mall with a fellow all girls school pal and two friends from the neighboring boys school (obviously, we were in the musicals together). We probably made terrible jokes using dialogue from Singing In the Rain. It was a thing. 

It was 2006 and mall culture was at its peak. The smell of Auntie Anne's pretzels mingled with Abercrombie & Fitch cologne as we giggled at the mischievous graphic tees hanging in Spencer's Gifts. If we really zoom out, the origin story of me becoming a sexuality educator probably started in a Spencer’s gifts. I never understood the double entendres of the jokes, but just laughed along, reminding myself to look it up on the family computer when I got home (I would not, because I was too nervous).

Then, began a conversation between my pals that changed everything:

Boy #1: Oh my God, you're such a clit!
Boy #2: Shut up, Boy #1!
Me, whispering to pal: .....What's a clit?
Pal: ...I don't know. 
Boys #1 & #2: You don't know what a clitoris is?! You have one!

Aside from the fact that these boys were using this badass organ as an insult, they had a point. Why hadn't I learned about this body part in my anatomy classes? Or the whopping 2 days on sexual health in my Health & Wellness class? Surely they must have mentioned it. I felt guilt and shame that I didn't know something about my own body. So I took to my class binder to see what we had learned. Basically, what I found had this energy....

The Vulva, according to my Catholic Schooling:

Purity culture really clouded every bit of information I learned about my body. From what it “should” look like, to how I should (or rather, shouldn’t), use it.

No wonder I felt overwhelmed and out of the loop in Spencer’s gifts!

Here's What I Wish I'd Learned About My New Pal, the Clitoris.

The Clitoris, at a glance!

Unbeknownst to 16 year old me (and maybe you, too), bodies are magic powerhouses for pleasure!

Some very fun facts about the clitoris that I was definitely not told in school:

💦The clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings and its sole function is pleasure! That's over double the amount of a penis.
 

💦 It gets larger when sexually aroused and (since it extends into the body) pushes up against the vaginal canal. Many think this is what makes vaginal penetration pleasurable for some folks!

💦Its made from the same tissue as a penis! At first, all fetuses have the same genital tissue. It begins to change into a penis or labia after around 12 weeks. SO! The clitoris and penis are both made of the same things; erectile tissue, a foreskin (the clitoral hood), glans, and even a small shaft.

💦 It can be sensitive! Some people love direct stimulation of the clitoris, while others need a softer, very indirect approach. Everyone's clitoris is lovely and unique.

💦 50-75% of clitoris owners need it stimulated in order to orgasm.

If any of these facts are new to you, you’re not alone! Because our broader culture deprioritizes the pleasure of folks with this anatomical set up, we’re learning more and more about this organ constantly. So much so, that I had to go back and update that nerve ending fact just a few months ago. We didn’t even have scientific research on the clitoris until the same year Titanic was in theaters. It was that recent!

Instead of letting the “how did I not know this!?” gremlins take the wheel, take this new information and share it with someone! A partner, a classmate, a friend. Cultures shift when we do.

I may not be that catholic school girl anymore, but the one thing I will evangelize about?

The power of pleasure.

Go in peace to love and learn your bod.