What can I expect from a coaching session?

A sexuality coaching session is completely talk-based, much like a virtual therapy session (though coaches are not mental health professionals)! We'll chat about what feels awesome in your life when it comes to intimacy and sexuality, what you want less of, and what you want to turn the volume up on. Then, we'll dive deep into the skills, education, and strategies that will help you get there in ways that feel sustainably, authentically, and confidentally you. A big myth is that there is a very specific "normal" we should all be striving for in sexuality and intimacy. What my decade of experience in the field has shown me? That the folks with the most nourishing relationships to their sexualities + partners are the ones who prioritize what feels pleasurable and authentically them, rather than all these shoulds we're given. These sessions help us discover what those things are for you!

How is sexuality coaching a complement to therapy?

If your journey was a college course, therapy would be the lecture and coaching would be the lab. Okay, well, life is the lab. But it's the closest analogy I've got! Therapy provides a space for transformative healing and self-exploration, and coaching sessions give us space to explore the weeds and linger in the particulars of "how." For example, you might be working with your therapist to explore the ways you want to be seen in your relationships and spend time with your coach workshopping how you experience pleasure and practicing concrete ways that you could communicate those desires to your partners.

How do you make talking about sexuality less intimidating?

As someone who grew up with very little sex ed, I know what it's like to feel an overwhelming suspicion that everyone has it all "figured out" but you. That's why I begin by dispelling the myth that there is one way to be "good" at sex and relationships. In fact, most people are kind of faking it 'til they make it! You are not the only one who grew up learning about the Pythagorean Theorem, but not about open communication, consent, embodiment, self-advocacy, or pleasure. We all pretend folks just kinda... pick up what they need know along the way. Not here! This is a space where we get to exhale and say, "okay, so I actually always wondered..." and get an affirming, nonjudgmental, even celebratory answer. 

How do I ask my partner to join me for sessions?

Some folks choose to meet with their coach individually, while others want to meet together--some do a combination! I encourage folks to approach coaching together as a love letter to your relationship. These sessions aren't because any one person or relationship is broken, but the opposite! Sharing a dedicated weekly/biweekly space with your sweetie(s) to check in on what you love about your intimacy, where you see opportunity for even better connection, and to make a plan together about how to live it out in daily life is an act of relationship hygiene that can be connective and even... fun!    

• Some tips: Consider context! Try approaching your partner(s) when you're all in a relaxed mood/setting. Begin by affirming things you already love in your relationship or sex life, then move toward sharing what you're wanting to grow more of. "I feel distant because we don't go on dates anymore," suddenly becomes -> "I really love when we get to connect intentionally and romantically like this. I know we're so busy. What if my sexuality coach worked with us to strategize new ways to build more of this into our wild schedules?"